After you have exported products from Uranus. 

It’s time to use the Bumgun:

1. Finish using the toilet. Breathe. 

(You have taken the number 2.)

3. To ensure the spray goes where you want (and not up your back or on the floor) I recommend sitting whilst spraying. 

4. Create a seal around the back of the toilet seat with your bottom.

5. Then spray from between your legs/ the front side, as this directs the spray away from more sensitive parts of your anatomy. 

6. Aim the bum gun at the cheek of your bottom. Gently increase the spray pressure to find a comfortable level. Then direct it towards the area in question. 

7. Give your self a good old spray and enjoy this novel cleaning experience. 

8. Replace the bum gun in its holster. 

9. Shake you ass and dry yourself. (A bum gun’s what your working with)

10. If this process is new to you I would recommend using a small amount of  toilet paper to dry your self.

11. If you have mastered the Bumgun, and your bum is post-shower clean, I would recommend using a specified bum towel to dry yourself.

12. Congratulations you have cleaned yourself and saved trees!! Give yourself a pat on the bum!


4 Comments

Jose squirthole · March 27, 2020 at 3:14 pm

Hi

I was wondering where step 2 and step 6 and step 8 where. Could you please provide instructions for these steps.

Regards

Jose

    Bum Gun Ben · April 8, 2020 at 7:14 pm

    Hi Jose

    Thank you for your comment, I have updated the instructions now and steps 6 and 8 are back in there!
    Step 2 is a play on words…

    Regards

    Ben

harry hotspot · March 27, 2020 at 4:41 pm

Hi

I was wondering if at any point you insert this into your anus. I have read some research that says you should clean from the inside out?

harry

    Bum Gun Ben · April 8, 2020 at 6:36 pm

    Hi Harry,

    This product is not designed to go up your anus despite it’s inviting shape.
    However, you are right by saying that your anus and rectal cavity should be cleaned every now and then, seeing as it is quite literally a s**t-hole. There are different opinions on the potential benefits and concerns of colonic irrigation or hydrotherapy. For example, I have read that tap water shouldn’t be used more than once a month to clean out one’s rear end, and using a coffee or lemon irrigation may cause more harm than good to your very complex microbiome. I would recommend doing more of your own research before “cleaning from the inside out”

    Regards

    Ben

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